Boys who use toys.
That’s right, boys like to play too! I know you probably already knew that, but I think we often forget that healthy, sexually active young (and old) men use sex toys just as much as women. Though there may not be as much variety, it’s an exciting area of the sex toy industry which I hope to see grow, and there is definitely a demand.
The following is about interviews I’ve had with 4 different men who use sex toys. For purposes of confidentiality, there will be no references to names, or individuals for that matter.
The men interviewed had a wide range of toy preferences and experiences. These men had used anal beads, butt plugs, dildos, vibrators, cock rings, vaginas, “rockers”, handcuffs, and blindfolds. I’ve already discussed vibrators, vaginas, and cock rings in my first blog and I think handcuffs and blindfolds are pretty self-explanatory, but I’d just like to clarify what the following are:
Anal beads are a string of spheres (beads) that are usually very flexible, almost like a necklace, that are inserted in the anus. Some people like to pull them out right as they’re about to cum, intensifying orgasm.
Butt plugs are like super mini dildos (and some are just straight-up dildos they’re so large). However, there is another vital difference between a dildo and a butt plug- butt plugs always have a flat, wide bottom, or substantial handle for gripping (handle-grips are usually used for anal beads). This is really important to keep your bum from ZOOoooom! sucking up the object, which can in fact happen.
A “rocker” is a toy designed to stimulate the prostate, like the Aneros MGX. It’s not really considered a penetrative toy because you don’t go in-out-in-out with it like with a dildo. You simply insert the toy in your anus, using your sphincter muscles to push the toy against your prostate. This is not a toy I’d recommend to a start as it takes some practice and may not be super-fantastic-awesome right away.
The main thing to remember with all anal toys, ALL OF THEM, is to use lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and LOTS of lube. Did I mention to use lots of lubricant? It’s extremely important because the anal lining is very thin, and the anus does not self lubricate like a vagina, so lubrication is a must. An absolute, important to your health, MUST.
Toy Time also recommends getting an anal toy you can boil to disinfect. Let’s be honest with ourselves, the anus isn’t exactly bacteria free. If you can’t afford the boilable silicones or glass toys, then I would highly suggest using a non-lubricated condom (as to not allow the silicone lubricant usually used on condoms to eat away at your jelly toy) and then lather it in a water-based lubricant.
Okay… time for the juicy stuff!
In general, these men typically really enjoy using sex toys, but they don’t use them all the time. All the men had used toys with a partner, and some used them during masturbation as well. One man said he actually started with sex toys for anal play before he had anal sex with a partner to help him become comfortable with it on his own first (Toy Time thinks that’s great!).
One suggestion was to start with something nice and small- no need to shock yourself and get turned off right away! The Tantus “Little Flirt” was specifically mentioned as a great beginner anal butt plug. Having said that, some other men started with 6-7” dildos and found their first experience a very pleasant one indeed. Moral of the story- do what makes you comfortable, and if you aren’t sure, then starting small is probably best.
Anal beads weren’t a big hit with this crowd. I have met men who really enjoy anal beads, but one man in this group said it felt like defecating and it wasn’t exactly the feeling he was looking for. The “rocker” was a huge hit with one of the men. He said having his partner perform oral sex on him while he used the “rocker” caused one of the best orgasms he’d ever experienced in his life!
Anal toys aren’t the only toys in town- there are also vaginas, cock-rings, and vibrators; however, vaginas weren’t a big hit with this crowd, either. One man described it as a replacement foreskin (which he did not need!). He was generally very disappointed with the item. However, cock-rings are a huge hit! Beyond the men interviewed, I’ve never met a couple or man who didn’t like their cock-ring so long as it vibrated and wasn’t too tight. Cock rings were suggested by one of the men as a perfect sex toy to start with, as it is small, non-penetrative, and easy to use. The man who used a vibrator actually used it on their female partner during intercourse, since his partner could not orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation. He said this was a very positive experience and she did in fact orgasm!
One of the questions I asked the men was about how they think other people perceive toy usage by men. The most prevalent answer was the notion that only gay men use sex toys. They felt this stemmed from the fact that most boys toys are for anal play and if you enjoy anal play than OBVIOUSLY (insert internet sarcasm) you’re gay. Of course, this is simply not true. Many heterosexual men use anal toys and thoroughly enjoy it.
I then asked the men if they felt there was a double standard for women who use toys and for men who use toys. One man laughed mockingly and said, “YES”. My partner once sent me this picture and I think it sums up this gentlemen’s “yes” quite well: http://img65.imageshack.us/img65/3565/1395yi4.png
What do you think?
Happy self-loving everyone!
Most of these won’t require any witty comments or remarks from me… this is one of them!
Wouldn’t it be cool if we created a condom so strong it could stop tanks from firing??? WOULDN’T IT???
Ain’t that the trueth…
Maybe even TWO hands…? get creative!
Admittedly, the expression on that guys face scares me… I can just see the thought bubble now, “ah ha! I got that poor sucker in the asshole!… Wait a minute…” — not that anal play is bad… just when it’s not consented to, as clearly the case is here… clearly…
I can honestly say I’ve never heard the word “bifkin” before, but if it’s in reference to genitals, I’m game!
My point is simply this…
